Is it okay to be single?

There's this topic that needs to be touched on. It is a topic that is driving me crazy. If it is not touched on, it is a topic that will do a lot of damage among Christians at Bible College and elsewhere. I pray that I am not the only one struggling with these ideas, and I'm hoping that the stuff I suggest here will help you deal with that. Stop me if you've heard these statements and questions before. "You need someone to keep you in line." "Jesus calls everyone to be married." "Your preaching will be more effective if you married." "Be open for love; follow your heart." "Don't let fear stop you from finding someone." "Why aren't you married yet?" "Bro, you'll be happier dating someone." "So I want to set you up with this girl, is that okay?" "That girl would be good for you. You guys have a lot in common."

These are a lot of comments and questions. I'm not saying it's a bad thing to be married. I'm not saying it's wrong to like someone. But what I am saying is that these questions and statements have a way of making someone insecure. It makes them think that they aren't enough. It makes us feel as if we need to be dating someone constantly. It makes people believe that if that person doesn't have a girlfriend, something significant is missing in that person's life. The church tends to take this idea of marriage and make it into an idol. The church thinks that God can't use single people. My goal is to make people realize that God can use both single and married people if you are trying to peer pressure people into dating others. Please stop. It's not helping anyone, and if we do this to other Christians and make them feel insecure, it can do a lot of damage. I'm going to highlight it under these areas right here.

We cannot do ministry by ourselves. But that does NOT mean you have to be married.

While it is true that we can't do ministry by ourselves. It is essential to know that a husband-wife ministry team is not the only type of team in life. It is necessary to understand that there are other support teams. You have different options like a support group that keeps you accountable and can help you out when you need it. One good example of this is Paul. Paul constantly had people who supported him in ministry. Even though Paul was single, he still had people in his life who both encouraged him and kept him accountable. Some key figures in his life were Silas and Barnabas. In fact, Jesus himself was single, but he wasn't alone in his three-year ministry. Jesus had the disciples with him everywhere he went. Indeed, a man was not meant to be alone, but that is more than just having a girlfriend. We need to have people in our life to keep us accountable and people we can hang out with. But that does not mean you have to be married.

It's okay to have friends that are girls.

It is not harmful to hang out with girls and to have a friend that's a girl. You don't constantly need to be dating. When I was a kid, a family member would continuously ask me if I had a girlfriend. He would continuously approach me about girls that I hung out with and consistently ask me if I would ask one of them out, or he would even say crap like, "How's your girlfriend doing?" It is not wrong to be friends with girls. It is also not wrong to think of a girl like a sister. They are our sisters in Christ; therefore, we are called to treat them as such. Hanging out with a girl does not mean you have to date them.

Pray and Surrender to God Your Worries about Finding that Person.

If you are still insecure about these different topics, pray to God and pray that God does put someone in your life. But also pray for His will to be done. Don't let others peer pressure you, and know that God can use you even if you aren't married. God will do his thing at His timing, not ours. So be patient. Surrender those insecurities to God. Surrender your worry about finding someone to God. Surrender all of it, take a deep breath, and realize that it's okay to be single. Remember that God can still use you.